1. |
Program
02:54
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It’s midnight and I’m still awake
if I don’t fall asleep soon I’ll be late for work
Guess I’ve done worse
Put those thoughts into a box and shove it down your throat
Try not to choke on it
Or call in sick
Countless nights replaying what I’d say to you if I
Ever scrounged up half a nerve to just face up to you and cry
Every look interpreted as pure, undoubted fact
And it’s gotten to the point where I just don’t know how to act
It's afternoon, I'm in my room, I'm staring into space imagining the best
You're just depressed
I want you to get better and I want you to be happy so I still pretend
That you're my friend
But I can’t say a thing cuz it’ll all just come out wrong
And you will never know how I feel, you don’t listen to my songs
Wrote a little program to erase us from my head
and I’ll just let it run til I forget we ever existed
Don't think of how it used to be, you'll end up half-insane
Yeah just make yourself keep playing this excruciating game
Cuz even when I'm with you I still feel like I'm alone
Used to want to break down your walls, now I’m putting up my own
I wish you knew that when I make you laugh everything brightens but it fades too fast
Wish it would last
And sometimes I get really fucking terrified it isn’t that you’re not aware
You just don’t care
Hoping against hope that one day things might be the same
Has been like tearing out my heart and opening all of my veins
And I know that between us there’s no one to take the blame
So I’ll accept that this is how things are, absorb all of the pain
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2. |
Anything
02:03
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you lean back and watch as I
shrug off my coat and I
can’t help but hang on each
word that you’ve spoken
you roll up a cigarette
polished precision
tell me you’ll teach me and I’ll
sit here and listen
cuz I
I can’t hide
my adoration
is this what you wanted
is it calculated
can you read my mind?
do you know how I feel?
how you’ve made me feel?
we’re walking alone
we’re reflected in pavement
the wheels in my mind
seem to freeze in amazement
you pull up my hood for me
ask why I’m here
i’d do anything for you to
always be near me
cuz I
I can’t hide
my adoration
is this what you wanted
is it calculated
I think you might know exactly what you’re doing to me
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3. |
Friend
02:09
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you say you’re sorry you’ve been acting this way
you say there’s so much more that you’ve got to say
you say I feel so close but so far away
I can’t get over you
there’s nothing else to do
but when I close my eyes I know that it’s true
that who I am today could never love you
and if you stay here I can’t help but be cruel
so tell me that you need
some time away from me
and I know we felt that spark
but I don’t want to break your heart
I know you think that I’m the one
but sometimes feelings can’t be won
but I don’t want you to say this is the end
and I don’t want to have to lose another friend
and if you leave I guess I’ll have to pretend
that I’m not feeling blue
that I’m not missing you
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4. |
Cracks
02:21
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said you’re done, you’re going home
who gives a shit that you’re just leaving me alone
too scared to ask you
didn’t have to
and I won’t tell you not to go
won’t be the one to let the cracks inside me show
thought I’d finally made it good
been here longer than I ever thought I would
pull back the curtain
everything’s uncertain
but would you change that if you could
suspended in a time when you felt understood
it's a knot you can't untie
can't solve this problem no matter how hard you try
stare at the ceiling
suffocate each feeling
so I won't look you in the eye
won't be around for you to finally say goodbye
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5. |
Fire
02:33
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we met on the roof
of a building downtown
Talked and drank there for hours, no one else was around
A warm autumn night
The sky was dark blue
Could've spent my whole life just sitting next to you
Sometimes I wish we'd stayed there
Left them all at the club just waiting for us
You and I were enough
Showed up at the bar
Said we'd gotten lost
Danced until I felt high, never wanted to stop
I can still feel that fire
infinite and alive, moving with the whole room
But I just wanted you
I felt lighter than air
Floating up on the breeze with your hands in my hair
Hoped the spell wouldn't break
Hoped that I'd never wake
we're just two beams of light
And we only exist on this one perfect night
But you wake up at home
And you're sleeping alone
we met on the roof
of a building downtown
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6. |
Poem
02:12
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I thought I might write you a poem
came up with it on the way home
scribbled it down on the station wall
639 days
of finding the right words to say
thought I’d be leaving
but I’m stuck here with these feelings
cuz I can’t stop
thinking of you in that way
haven't I made this mistake before
it's all the goddamn same
but baby you're
killing me softly each day
can't seem to part with this ache
a constant feeling I can't shake
I know that you felt it that night
the music, the dancing, the lights
felt that goodbye like a concrete wall
feels like something has to break
there's only so much we can take
no use pretending
I can't see a happy ending
but I can’t stop
thinking of you in that way
haven't I made this mistake before
guess I'm the one to blame
and if you thought
that we ever stood a chance
of more than a wayward glance
well babe I think you’ve lost the game
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7. |
Home
02:24
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Do you remember our first date? I hope you do. I was so nervous I wrote down a list of things I'd say to you. And you biked right up to me, sunglasses on, and I swear I could've told you this conclusion was foregone. Do you remember our first kiss? Cuz I sure do. The whole damned world just disappeared and there was only me and you. But summer ended and you knew I would leave, writing love song after love song trying to keep you with me. Do you remember playing Legend with our friends? You chose a name and made me laugh so hard I fell right off the bench. It was a golden time, but we couldn't stay - packed our clothes and my guitar and shipped them all far away. Do you remember leaving for the strange unknown? And do you think about how all at once this place became our home? Stood on the balcony, just watching the sky, and I wondered what good thing I'd done for you to be mine.
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